This section will provide a guide to help you as the parent communicate the importance of safe driving with your teen in a non-threatening manner. Just like driving, effective communication takes practice, so don’t give up if it feels strange when you begin using these strategies.
EXAMPLE: Your teen does not completely stop at a stop sign.
Typical Communication
Here’s how many parent-teen conversations go:
Parent: You failed to stop at a stop sign again.
Teen: I stopped!
Parent: Not completely. We’ve gone over this before — you need to come to a full stop.
Teen: I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal about this. It’s not like anyone was coming — I looked in both directions.
Parent: That’s not the point. You need to stop no matter what. Don’t you know how easily accidents can happen? And it would be your fault.
Teen: Whatever.
Effective Communication
Here’s a better approach.
Parent: Tell me about how you handled the intersection back there. (Open-ended question)
Teen: I slowed down at the stop sign, checked to make sure no one was coming and drove through.
Parent: So you did sort of a rolling stop? (Reflection)
Teen: Yes, I know I’m supposed to come to a full stop but we’re in a hurry. No one was coming for miles around so it’s not like it mattered.
Parent: You felt it was okay not to stop completely since we’re late and you made sure you checked for traffic. (Reflection)
Teen: You got it.
Parent: Jill, when you don’t stop completely, it scares me. I get concerned that it might become a habit and the next time someone will be coming fast. For my peace of mind, I need to know that stopping completely becomes a habit for you. (Summary)
Teen: Okay, okay if it means that much to you.
