O.A.R.S. is an acronym for “Open-ended questions, Affirmations, Reflective listening, and Summarizing.” Use all four to get the most out of your conversations with your teen.
Open-ended questions
- Questions that start with “how” or “what” or “tell me more about” or “describe.”
- Require more than a simple yes or no response.
- Used to gather general information from your teen.
Affirmations
- Acknowledge the difficulties your teen may be having.
- Validates your teen’s feelings and experiences.
Reflective listening
- Without judgment, repeat back to your teen what you hear them saying.
- Focus on the feeling your teen is expressing (e.g., You are scared…, You are angry…).
Summarize
- Show your teen you have been listening carefully by summarizing what has been said.
